As we plunge into our new year plans and aspirations, are you concerned that others are making more waves than you? That you are not meeting up with your obligations and life visions? Maybe you are worried that age is no more on your side and that there is no need to continue to pursue your dreams and aspirations? Please knock off all these negative stuff in your system unless probably you have made up your mind to bury your entire life while still alive.
There is something most people in this part of the world fail to understand about life. They are busy counting their age and losses than moving ahead with future plans and fruitful goals. Stop comparing your self with someone else life because every individual on this planet has a different destiny and is wired differently. The fact that your age mates have arrived…yea..that is what they say here when people see people with fleet of cars and so much luxury…they say…you have arrived…you have made it. It is all about materialism in measuring one’s life fulfilment huh? Meanwhile you must have touched several lives with your kindness, good manners, tolerance and accomodative lifestyle but no one seems to tell you, you have arrived because you are not swimming in millions of material wealth. Are you aware that material acqusitions can be destroyed within a moment, but the good moral values and decent personality you have built up for yourself will endure and carry you through all your life?
The age mates you are comparing yourself with have their mission on earth and no one can come out to tell you that this is what I did to succeed. They will tell you the ones that will sound nice to the ears, but the nasty ones will be concealed and you will be thrashing your self all through the years of your life why you cannot be as good and wealthy as your age mates. Now do not get me wrong here and think that I am trying to slow you down…if you are thinking towards this angle, you are totally mistaken. Your agemates have their personal drive even if you share some ideas with them that are similar. The fact that they are moving faster than you materially makes no valuable sense as far as life fulfilment is concerned. What matters is that you are up and doing and trying your best to be productive each day and not being idle and looking for people to pity you.
Self pity is one attitude anyone who is determined to succeed should shun. Once you drift into self pity mode, nothing works for you because all you will be doing your entire life is seeking sympathy from others (of course they will be laughing at your back and making a jest of you) so those of you who think they can go about telling stories of self pity to attract people listen to them and give them money etc should just burst this stupid idea this year and brace up to your life.
Do people who always judge others with their age honestly realise that age is just anumber? Abroad you see men and women who have retired from service still working from home and making waves. I have a friend in Texas who retired a very long time ago but he never hung his work experience and life because he does not work 9-5 any longer. He still works as a business/life coach and most times, you might not know he is retired. He is in his 70’s and at times have some ill health but he is always active in his retirement job interviewing people on radio and rendering life career / business mentorship to people all over the world.
He has interviewed me several times and as a guest on his online radio show. I keep admiring his strenght and zeal. Over here, someone at the same age will simply go to his village and creating problems for his children here and there. One more thing people should understand about making themselves look very old is that, when you always sit down day after day, eating, sleeping and doing nothing, you look older with all kinds of ailments being your companion. Those tired bones will get even more tired and your brain will stop learning and one day, you will see a different person staring at you in the mirror. That ugly bent person is not the person God made you to be at that age but the person you created for your self just because you were busy counting your age and feeling older when you should be imparting others with your remaining knowlegde/wisdom/skills.
For the females who always feel it is all about getting married and having children, you have missed it. Getting married and having children is cool but for you to worry yourself sick to the extent of not taking care of your life activities is the highest form of craziness. The time you spent searching for a rich husband because you believe age has passed you by, would have been used to create a good living in terms of getting a good job, opening a small business and securing your future. Most of you who have this mindset, by the time you get married and your husband sees you as a burden, another worse trauma takes over your entire life.
You are married but still not fulfilled because you cannot even earn your own money and take care of yourself and loved ones the way you want. Shame huh? What happened to me?…you keep asking yourself year after year … crying in secret and always looking older. What happened is that you were busy counting your age instead of pursuing your life dreams and aspirations. Are you females not aware that more men are keen on marrying women who have already created some kind of life for themselves? You just can’t sit down year after year brooding about how old you have become and you feel good life will fall into your lap.
The year is still young and you can still make a turn around with your life.
Jacqui IWU is a Bodyimage, Life &Career Coach
A Stress Management Expert &Conference Speaker
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